Update #4 by MomOf9+2 at 4:05 pm on Sun 6/14/2015 The thief comes to steal, kill and destroy. He divides and conquers. And my family has been targeted. I separated from the oldest 4 kids on the west coast and have the youngest 5 with me. It seems no one is happy a lot of the time. At ages 45 and 48 my husband and I are coming up on the 1yr. anniversary of our marriage after 10ys of him being single and only 8months for me (I was married 26yrs and first husband died. I married his good friend and friend of our family but the kids weren't ready for me to be married again, and understandably so. The husband I am married to now was single because his wife had left him and divorced him in a state where he has no say in the matter.) We are going through all the stresses of getting used to each other as a newly married couple and having to adjust in front of 5 pairs of eyes (my kids) and 2 other pairs of eyes (his kids with Down's Syndrome every other weekend). Each of us have issues we have not dealt with and now are having to face. Anger. Dependency on alcolhol and occasional marijuana use (him). Co dependancy (me). Husband getting used to 5 kids all the sudden. Messes. Defiance. We are doing everything we know to do to reach out for help. Clinical Family and marriage counseling. Church attendance. A life group through church. People praying.I just started AlANON. Its just really hard for all of us and sometimes we are weary and want to give up. We have blow outs. We cry and feel sorry for ourselves. Thank you for contiuied prayers.
Original Prayer Request
My previous husband died suddenly at age 55 in Dec. of 2013. We had been married 26 years and have 9 kids ranging in age from 26 down to 3. Our first grandchild was born 6 months after he died. My previous husband, Rich, was a believer but had struggled with marijuana use since 15 and because he had been hurt by some in the church, had left going to a regular church in 2006. We moved our family from Ohio to Mississippi(7yrs) and then to WA state to start a 'new life' (and pot use was legal in WA)and in this season of our lives, got involved in something called the Hebrew Roots Movement. Very nice people. There are groups that get together all over the world; I'm not judging their salvation, but the emphasis is not on following Christ's command to go into all the world and make disciples of all nations. They believe that we can have a special blessing if we follow the laws of Moses as they apply to us today. For example, dont eat pork and we must celebrate the holidays as best we can that are laid out in the old testament. No Christmas or Easter. The focus is on self. And after my husband died, I started to attend my neighbors non denominational church and get free from this mindset. I worshiped and met regularly w/ other believers. This angered my older children, ages 19,21,23 and 26. The oldest one encouraged the other 3 to try pot and they also started drinking. They had a mindset to fill their father's shoes so to speak and would have liked for me to only do what they felt their father would have done for the rest of my life. This included how they thought the younger children should be disciplined and how they should be raised regarding their faith and their stamp of approval if I should remarry. I had begun to take the younger one's to church and spoke out about how I was beginning to see things differently in regards to the freedom we have in Christ . The Holy Spirit in us showing us how to follow the commands of Christ, the moral law of the 10 Commandments for all people vs. the Law of Moses given to the Israelites. The Law of Love. Plus I had been communicating with one of Rich's best friends from back east; someone our family had known for about 11 years. You know the saying, "Familiarity breeds contempt" ? Well, this person was someone my kids had seen depressed because his wife had forced a divorce on him and wouldn't let him see his kids. She soon moved in with the guy she is still living with today and not married. Our friend drank heavily for a season and smoked pot with my husband. He since has stopped the heavy drinking and doesn't believe smoking pot is a good thing. He wants to be sober minded. Because he helped me to see the errors in the Hebrew Roots movement and the dangers of marijuana use, my older children saw him as an enemy. The combination of all these things added to the grief we were all going through, caused there to be a lot of arguing and turmoil. One of my daughters thought it was best to have custody of my children. She talked about this a number of times. I was advised to leave. I began to make plans and prayed and prayed that only if this was God's will would it work out for me to leave. It is only God that could have brought me all the way across the country back to where I had lived for 17 yrs prior. To old friends and places. Closer to my family and the kids grandparents. I have the younger 5 with me. I had to sneak away from the older ones while they were at work or they would have done something to the van I needed to drive. We are living comfortably now. I am remarried to that guy. In many ways so happy. He is good for the younger kids.We go to a wonderful church where the kids are involved in youth groups and they are getting some order in their lives after many years of not much structure. We have been in family counseling since I got here last July. The kids here have access to the kids in Washington and my daughter in Alaska. They sent birthday gifts and vise versa. Talk on the phone. But the children who aren't here won't speak to me and have slandered me behind my back. I suspect they continue to undermine things here but I think it is more of a priority to be in relationship with them. My former mother in law and sister in law won't speak to me. I've been unfriended on Facebook (Horrors! : ) ...You get the picture. I would like to move back to Washington with everyone but am stuck here till God shows my new husband that we should do this. His 2 children from the other marriage (he was divorced 10 years before we got married) have Down's Syndrome and he can't leave them. We have them at least about every other weekend and sometimes more. They are ages 17 and 13 and the eventual goal is that we would like to have full custody of them. And I would like to move back to Washington. We hope to have them for the whole summer this year. You could pray for that. But mostly, I would like for there to be reconciliation between myself and those who are upset with me. I know it will take time. I would just like to see encouraging signs that things are moving in the right direction. Thank you for your prayers. I am sorry that this is long winded! : )